Lessons in Love: From Foster to Forever

Judith Ortiz of Meriden is a single mother who, along with two biologic children, began foster parenting in June 2003.  

Since completing the Milford and Bridgeport-based Boys & Girls Village Therapeutic Foster Care Program (TFC) to become certified as a foster parent, Ortiz has fostered 10 children and in 2008 brought four siblings into her home as foster children, who she later adopted and is currently raising. Thanks to her love and dedication, they now have their Forever Family.

Her commitment to provide a loving home for children in need has included helping her foster children maintain relationships with their biological parents. 

The children she cares for find a loving and stable home with her, but Ortiz understands that they also love and miss their biological parents. 

In 2012, Ortiz was selected by Sen. Richard Blumenthal as the Connecticut recipient of the national Angels in Adoption award. One person from Connecticut is nominated each year for this prestigious award.

'Changing A Child's Life'

We recently spent time with Ortiz to ask her questions about her experiences as a foster parent. 

Her comments remind us all that few things can make as important a difference in the life of a child as a dedicated, loving parent.

Q:  Judith, why did you become a foster parent?

A:  Actually my sister Jeanette Pagan inspired me to become a foster mom.  She had been a foster mom for a few years before me and I saw the relationship she was forming with the girls she had fostered, the love they developed for each other and most of all, the impact of changing their lives.  That is what I wanted to do.

Q: How would you describe your experience as a foster parent?

A: It has been great, challenging, and rewarding, all at the same time.  It is hard work and sometimes things go wrong, but you have to pull through the bad times.  You can't give up on the first challenge that comes your way.  You have to be persistent and let these kids [foster children] know you are not going to give up on them.  Foster care means to me changing a child's life and challenging them to be the best they can be. You need to love them unconditionally.

Q: How did you decide to adopt four children at once and what has that been like for your biological children?

A: In May 2008 I welcomed the Rodriguez kids into my home.  The placement was for six months.  The kids started visiting with their mom and then things didn't work out.  Then after six months the Connecticut Department of Children and Families system decided it was [in] the best interest of the children to [find a more permanent answer].  So that process started and so did counseling for the kids.  After three long years I was able to adopt them.  Andres was nine.  He [had taken] charge of the family and had to be taught that he is a kid and doesn't have to worry about [being the parent] anymore.  He has become a great young man and is 15 now.  Angelica and Adelina were six and are very different, although twins.  They each brought a different personality to the family.  Adelina likes to take charge and is motherly with Angelica.  Angelica loves to be a kid and enjoys dolls.  They are now 11.  Luis was two years old.  He was a very cute child and he is very close to me.  I have raised him since then.  He loves his biological mom because he sees [that] his siblings love her and doesn't remember what he went through at that age. 

When they were available for adoption I was asked if I would be interested.  The kids were in my heart and they didn't know anyone else but me and my family.  So I asked my biological children, Jasmine and Jonathan, on their thoughts.  Of course they were ecstatic that we could adopt them.  They love them just as much as I do.  Why four?  They had never been separated, so if I was going to adopt, it had to be all four.  When we got the OK that it was going to be final, we were all very happy and couldn't wait for the day.  In December 2008 the adoption was finalized.

Q: What is it like now to have six children in your Forever Family?

A: As for a forever family it is fulfilling.  I not only have the four I adopted but the previous ones as well.  They all consider themselves brothers and sisters.  So when I am asked how many kids do you have I say 10 and two biological and two granddaughters.  There is an abundance of love and respect for each other.  To see my children flourish and make future plans is great.  Andres wants to go into the service or be a policeman.  Adelina wants to be an FBI agent.  Angelica wants to be a Channel 3 news reporter. Luis wants to be a fireman or policeman.  I will work hard that their dreams are fulfilled.

About Boys & Girls Village

Helping children and their families gain a full life has been the goal at Boys & Girls Village for more than 70 years.   Boys & Girls Village gives some of Connecticut’s most vulnerable children and families the opportunity to heal, learn and grow.

With operations in Milford and Bridgeport, Boys & Girls Village provides comprehensive care through its array of behavioral health, educational and family programs for children and adolescents at-risk. Their programs provide youth with evidence-based clinical treatment programs, a K to 9th grade school, family based in-home and outpatient treatment services, therapeutic foster care, a residential program for youth with problem sexual behavior, a live-in alternative to a hospital unit and community outreach support. 

Clients come from 50 different communities in Connecticut, with the majority residing in Fairfield and New Haven counties. The children and adolescents who become part of the Boys & Girls Village family range in age from 3-18 years old and are cared for by a staff of highly trained professionals including child psychiatrists, psychologists, nursing staff and a highly trained and dedicated group of paraprofessionals. Learn more at www.bgvillage.org.

—Based on a Boys & Girls Village release